Beginnings – Welcome to Pi.

Uh, hi… I guess.

Obviously, I suck at introductions – or beginnings of any sort really.  I’m not sure if I have always been this awkward, and was either just unaware, or didn’t care, or if I am actually getting more awkward as I get older.  Like that one time I actually found enough sack to ask out that gorgeous stranger.  Yeah, remember that one? Heh, classic…

Better start drinking now if you wanna sleep tonight!

But I digress…  Let’s try this again, shall we?   Hello internet!  Welcome to, well, my blog!  The only blog on the internet without much direction or focus, that is written by… me.  I am really selling the shit out of this aren’t I?  But, who am I?   Well, this is me (technically):

Mm, yes, embrace the cringe.

Yes. I know. The photo is objectively terrible.  From the silly high-schooler who just started learning Photoshop art-filter, to the try-hard super-cool-guy pose, to the forced contemplative/overly-serious expression, pointedly avoiding the camera.  In my defense, this is me in high school, or shortly thereafter.  So 10+ years ago.  Why am I using this old ass picture of myself?  Well, there are many reasons.  Primarily, I would like to keep my internet presence somewhat anonymous.  Oh, I don’t care if people close to me know that I’m writing this.  If I did, I wouldn’t use a photo of myself at all. However, I fully intend to say things here that will probably prove to be controversial, and could even get me fired, if I didn’t try to mask my identity a little.  Of course, this is assuming that I ever get more than one reader (Hi mom!).  If I’m honest with myself, I also chose this picture because, and I’m ashamed to admit it, I think this is definitely the coolest picture of me that exists.  Even worse, I’m 29 now, a husband, and a father.  I think I may be having a sort of quarter-life crisis.  Wait a minute – “Quarter-life” assumes I live til I’m 120, but 90 is far more likely.

Mother of God…

This is a one-third-life crisis.  Fuck.  Anyone know how to make futile attempts to reclaim your youth as a millennial with a family and little-to-no disposable income?  Leave suggestions in the comments please.

Once again, I digress.  Let’s talk about what this is, or, at least, what I want it to be.  First and foremost I am using this as an expressive outlet.  That’s why I won’t be too bothered if (most likely) no one ever read this.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love it if I one day had an actual audience. So I’m going to try to put out entertaining content with the hope that one day I actually get me one of those bad boys (Gender isn’t important. Relax it’s an expression). Beyond that, I want to improve my writing, and I want to have fun while doing it.  Gaining an actual readership would simply be icing.  Not to mention, I could start receiving some constructive feedback.  The internet is great for that sort of thing right? Right?

So, I have a lot of opinions.  In fact, I may actually have ALL of the opinions.  I think they call that being, “opinionated” or, an “asshole.”  Unsurprisingly, being as “opinionated” as I am, and introverted, and awkward, and a dad, and husband, and all that other old-guy shit I am, I seem to have lost touch with, or driven away, most of my friends.  So you could look at this as a sort of crisis intervention, so I can shove my opinions into the depth-less void of the internet, and stop shoving them down my poor wife’s throat.  Sorry babe! You’re a trooper.  And no that wasn’t a sexual thing.  Unless you want it to be.  Never mind. We’ll talk later.

I don’t just want this to be some opinionated commentary on current events.  Everyone is already inundated with plenty of that.  Don’t get me wrong, it will be that, no doubt.  But, I plan to include other things – such as links to interesting, entertaining, or useful shit I’ve found plundering the internet wastes.  Maybe advice pieces about things I feel qualified to talk about in spite of not being qualified at all.  I’ve considered streaming the few hours that I get to play the video games I so enjoy.

So while I may not be able to provide you with a focus to what I want to give you, I’m hoping that this weird grab-bag that you get is at least entertaining.  If you are reading this post, and you are not obligated to because we’re married or was birthed by you (sorry mom) – THANK YOU.  It means a lot to me that even one person took the time to check this out.

Let me know what you like, don’t like, or in which bodily orifice I should shove my keyboard.

Stay safe internet.

~ Crash  π

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Crash - PI

I have strong opinions about things. Most things actually.

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